From the Desk: Favorite Woody Allen Quotes

Woody Allen, a comedic genius

Woody Allen is synonym to execution of comedic perfection. Woody Allen is one of the most respected and prolific filmmaker in modern times. Allen draws heavily on literature, philosophy, psychology, European cinema and New York City, where he was born and has lived his entire life. Some might consider his films an acquired taste, but no one can deny that he is brilliantly witty. If you haven’t seen a Woody Allen movie yet, you are really missing something. This list is about my personal collection of favorite Woody Allen quotes.


"Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there."

“I'm not anti-social. I'm just not social.”

"I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose."

" I am not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens."

“You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.”

"I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it’s the government."


"I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying."

" I’m astounded by people who want to ‘know’ the universe when it’s hard enough to find your way around Chinatown."

“Eighty percent of success is showing up.”

“I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.”

 “If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.”

 “If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.”

 “God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.”

“Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.”